Picking My Mind..Answering Your Questions
Hello!
I've been asked for updates on my tumblr on my personal life and I figured it was a perfect opportunity to do a new blog post.
To give a quick update on how I'm doing, I would have to say I am at probably at the best point in my life right now. I take comfort in knowing that it will only get better.
I am doing everything I love to do! I am traveling; I am progressing in my fitness journey and I am closer to reaching my goal weight. I am meeting new people. I have stepped out of my comfort zone. I have grown spiritually. I am almost 21 (woo). I am maid of honor and planning an amazing wedding for my sister. I am working towards getting my first professional title as a designer. Graduation is getting closer. And some exciting news in my family.
I can truly say I am the happiest I have ever been and I owe it all to God, my amazing family, and my wonderful friends.
I'm going to answer a couple of questions I have gotten on my tumblr these past months...
1. Why did you guys break up?
- This seems to be the most popular question I get. To respect the privacy of the other party I won't really discuss this too much. All I can say is that things simply don't always work out. I know that's a broad explanation, but it's true. If you asked me 5 months ago what my life would be like in 5 years, I probably would have told you I would be engaged or married to this person. But that's just it, we aren't always in control of our life and our future. God is the one that calls the shots and I just have to trust His judgement. His plan is better than anything I could envision for myself. I have used this failed relationship as a learning experience and I have had plenty of time to reflect on my actions and see what areas I need to work on. Regardless of who is more to blame or what happened, I believe we each have our faults and our fair share of mistakes. Keep in mind I started dating this person when I was 14, I have changed tremendously since then. I grew up, my mentality and goals changed, and sometimes we simply don't grow well or at the same pace with the other person.
2. Are you dating anyone?
- Nope! And I don't plan to for a while. Honestly I take a lot of pride in knowing that I got through this breakup without needing to get into another relationship to help me move on. I am enjoying all the perks of being single and putting myself first. Not having to compromise what I want for someone and not having relationship drama. I even sleep better at night! I am not putting a time limit on how long I am waiting to get into another relationship. I have taken a couple of steps into the dating world, slowly, but I am not forcing anything. If it feels right, I'll let it happen, but as said earlier it's all about God's timing and not mine. I am in absolutely no rush. Plus I am pretty sure that at 20 years old I have not met the person I am going to marry; I am barely starting adulthood. So to keep it simple: I am not opposed to dating someone right now but it's not something I am focused on right now.
3. What advice can you give on handling a break up and moving on?
- Have a support system! Definitely a must and very important. Make sure it is with the right people. For me that was my family, my closest friends, and my faith. It does not have to be so many people, but personally I needed a big support system. With any break up, you are going to have your ups and downs. There will be many stages that you go through. IT IS OKAY. Seriously, if you need to cry, do it. If you feel angry, drink some wine and talk all the shit you want. If you need to vent for the 1948398543 time to your friends, go right ahead; that is what they are there for. It's something you have to take day by day, just remember you have to let go. Let. Go. You can not compare your progress to your ex's. Everyone has their own way of handling things (or not handling them at all) so just focus on yourself. There is no shame in taking time to move on as long as you do it the right way. I seriously thought it was going to take me a long time to move on, I gave this person 6 years, yet here I am months later happier than ever. The best part is that I feel like I was able to grieve and cope with the situation in a healthy manner.
4. Are you and your ex still friends?
- No we are not and it is for the best. I do not hate this person, I hope he is doing well. I am genuinely cheering for him to succeed. I hope life gives him the opportunity to be the best that he can be. I feel like we did not end on the best of terms, but honestly I don't have anything left to say. I can sleep easy with a clear conscience because I know I apologized for what I have done wrong and I don't owe him anything more. I do not have any intentions on having him back in my life in the future and I don't mean that in a spiteful way, I just believe it is for the better; for his and my sake.
This experience has definitely given me thicker skin. I was so self conscious on what people thought about me and I have really learned to not care. It is absolutely impossible to please everyone. No matter what, you'll always be the bad guy in someone else's eyes, even if they don't know the situation. It was so important for me to be liked by everyone and now I am not worried about it. Especially if those people do not add any value to my life. I'll let people think what they want. At the end of the day I know who I am and I really love who I'm turning out to be.
If any of my readers are going through a break up, just remember it is not the end. In fact, it's only the beginning of a new chapter in your life and you have the power to make it an exciting one. There are hidden blessings in all experiences.
Most importantly, don't close up on the idea of love. That is actually something I am still working on. But I know that there is someone out there for me and that one day, I'll feel grateful for this experience because it lead me to him. It's all about His plan. But for now, I am enjoying this new life of mine.
Remember, you are enough.
-m
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