Thoughts Before Turning 21

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I finally turn the big 21 this Friday and I'll admit, I have really been looking forward to this birthday for a long time now. 

Normally I don't make a big deal about my birthday, I usually do something small with my family at home, but this year I decided to make things extra special.

In retrospect, reaching this "milestone" in life has made me very pensive these past few weeks and I have just been reflecting on my past lately. Here's what I have concluded so far:


1. Friends 

  • I look at the closest people around me now. The ones I talk to every day and the ones that I don't hear from often, but I know they are there, and I just can't help but to feel extremely grateful for the type of people that have been put in my life to this point. Your friends play such an important role in these key years, shaping you into the person you will become. I have some of the most genuine and loving friends I could ever ask for and every day they inspire me and teach me to be better. They are real examples of what it means to be loyal. I know they have my back at any second, but I also know they will never belittle, mistreat, or even be rude to anyone that has hurt me. I love that.. It's definitely a lesson of growing up, you don't need to bring someone down just to bring someone else up. All in all, I am just so happy I get to celebrate Friday night with these amazing people. In general, I'm grateful for all the new faces in my life. I have met people recently that are so different from me and they are just amazing. I have changed a lot this year, physically-mentally, but they embrace my changes and encourage me to follow my goals. 

2. Family 

  • Family. What can I say? My family would go to hell and back for me in an instant. That's not to say we are perfect. Just like any family, we each have our own set of challenges, but in the end of the day I know without a doubt they are always there for me. I have parents that support my dreams and even push me to travel the world and follow my passions. Then there is my big brother. My only sibling. These past months I have felt closer to him than I had been in a while. We talk almost every day and even though he can be the biggest pain in my ass. I love him. I hate him, but I love him. I have to remind myself not to take anyone in my family for granted and to just appreciate all the moments I get to spend with them. As we grow up, we move away, we start our own lives, our own families and we don't get to see our own as often as before. As I start preparing for graduation soon, the possibility of me moving away is becoming very real, so I am trying to soak up all the family time I can. 

3. Past

  • It's no secret that I went through a big break up this year. I have my fair share of posts on this subject. The reason I haven't stopped bringing it up is because surprisingly many of my readers are dealing with break ups of their own and I have been told that reading my posts has helped them. Which is honestly the only goal I had when writing about it. Right now, I can confidently say I have let go of all anger and bitterness I had. I don't want to carry those negative vibes into my new year. There is absolutely no point in holding on to grudges and resentments. He may not be a part of my life anymore, but I can appreciate the beautiful moments we had together. Aside from our problems, what we had was definitely special and I'll always be grateful for the times he was there for me. He will always be my first love and I think a part of me will always care for him. Maybe that's what it truly means to move on in a breakup. When you can look back and smile at the good memories, learn from the bad ones, and wish your ex nothing but happiness - regardless of what was done to you. The truth is, I've had to grow outside of that relationship in order to really grow as a person. And that is exactly what I'm doing now. Growing, learning, and finally loving myself the way I deserve to be. 


I have to say, I am really interested in seeing what these next years bring. So much can change in just months. I think that's how your 20's are suppose to be - full of new experiences, lots of learning, growing, and lots of fun.

If any of  my readers are fellow cancers or July babies, I wish you a very happy birthday! 

Remember, you are enough.

-m

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